Mental Stimulation

Yesterday, I decided to start making some changes in my life, that I know will have a positive impact on my mental health. To begin with, I stopped reading and watching what I call, the negative and depressing news. I deleted my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts. Then I went on to cancel all the series that I had set up on my DVR. I followed that, by deleting all the TV programs that I had previously recorded. My next move is to stop wasting my time, by binging on TV programs.

My explanation to my actions is, that I want to start living in the now, not yesterday and not tomorrow… NOW! If I get to catch a TV program when it’s on the air, then good, if I don’t, it wasn’t meant to be.

My way of looking at it is, that sobriety, talk therapy and crazy meds have helped me deal with my weekend binge drinking, Bipolar II and OCD symptoms, but I have to find productive ways to spend my time and stimulate my brain.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all 👊🏾


My Racing Thoughts Are Back

Just the same way that I have been suffering from OCD from as far back as I can remember, I have also been dealing with racing thoughts. I remember people calling it day dreaming, but once I got older and figured out how bad they have been affecting me, and then my shrink telling me what they are called,  I have been trying to deal with them with no luck.

While I was still drinking, my shrink told me many times, that I was using alcohol to self-medicate, and to be honest, he was right. The truth is, that when I drink alcohol, my mind quiets down, so I don’t have to deal with any anxiety, depression, sadness, worries, mood swings and intrusive or racing thoughts.

This morning, I woke up stressed and moody, and as I was taking a bath, I was able to put my finger on the cause… racing thoughts. I have been experiencing them for the last week or so, but I wasn’t putting much attention to them. Now, they are getting to me.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!